Ffinian W
1 November 2023
It’s a cold winters morning in July and you wake up with a hangover from Big Willy’s Monday Night Bingo at the bar downstairs the night before. You can’t remember what happened but there’s smudged red lipstick on your cheek and $400 cash in a bucket beside your bed. You get up to take a shower in your 8 bed dorm room’s en-suite, making sure you’re the first in there because there’s nothing worse than using the bathroom after 7 other people first thing in the morning. After getting dressed you go down to Ackland Street just round the corner from the hostel and get the best coffee of your life from one of the many famous cake shops. It’s a beautiful day and the air is crisp so you take a walk down the beach to see the penguins by the pier and admire the city skyline. On your way back you stop at Woolies for groceries and cry at the thought of paying over $10 for three bloody capsicums (they’re called peppers to the rest of the world). You walk into the hostel kitchen to make your food but there’s no room to cook since half of the hobs don’t work. Not to mention you’d also have to clean everything before you use it because apparently no one has been taught how to wash a saucepan before. Since there’s also no room in the fridge or cupboards to store your food, you go to put it in your room (at least the cockroaches can’t get it there). Suddenly you panic because you can’t find your key card, then you remember that it’s on an app. Finally a useful app! Eventually you say f*** it, let’s get a McDonald’s. On the out the door you stop at reception and say “I’d like to extend my stay please…” You’re glad you booked Base St Kilda.
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